I Laughed Today

So I woke up this morning still in tears. I’m totally stressing myself over this housing thing. I know better, too; that’s the really scary part. I have techniques to get me past these moments; I just haven’t used any yet. I’m thinking maybe I will start using them – immediately. That might be better for all of us; I’ll calm down, the kids will settle down, I’ll calm down more… I can’t really do anything right this minute, though, because it’s hard to type and technique at the same time.

I am feeling a little bit better this evening, I must say. I don’t know why; maybe the Universe has something special in store for me tomorrow (later today) and my energy is changing. I’ll have to wait and see. If it doesn’t, I’ll just deal with it and move past it. The more I dwell, the more anxious I get, the more panicky I get, and on it goes. Time to stop doing that. I will update you in the next post and let you know what spectacular thing did or didn’t happen during the day.

I did go out today to the churches I couldn’t get to on Friday. One supplied me with a list of resources that I’ve already utilized; the other still had locked doors. I can’t figure that out because I was there during business hours. So I came home, called them – that’s how I know I was there during business hours, it said so on the message – and left a message for them to call me. I also called some more subsidized properties and asked them to send me applications. With luck I should be getting those within a day or two. With Ellen’s help, I made an appointment with the local DV people since they assist victims with finding permanent housing. I’ll go see them next Wednesday to see what, if anything, they can do for me.

I made the appointment for then because Dolly isn’t going to pre-school anymore, she’s being put into Headstart and she’ll be a regular student before next week arrives. Yes, they found a spot for her really fast. I’m so excited and so is she. Problem is, she can’t go until her teacher makes a home visit and that hasn’t happened yet. Headstart just started the year today so she’s only going to be missing a couple of days, but I am going to call them tomorrow. I don’t want her missing an entire week because of delays in paperwork or anything. That’s at the top of my to-do list for the morning. After I get the boys to school, I’ll be calling to leave a message with Dolly’s teacher to set up that appointment. I’m tired of waiting on other people; at least I can do what I need to do on my end.

I think, after that, I’ll do some more researching and phone calling then I’ll have to do something to change my energy. I can’t keep walking around in a funk all the time. It’s making my wrinkles deeper and giving me frown lines. If I keep up with the negative energy I’ll look sixty before my next birthday. I don’t want that. No worries, I’ll do what needs to be done, even if it means watching “The Joy of Stress” with Loretta LaRoche over and over again until I laugh myself silly. Maybe I’ll give that a shot tomorrow; that could be fun. I’m going to bed now, though, because it’s late and I’m tired. Perhaps I’ll have some happy dreams tonight instead of the fucked up and funky dreams I’ve been having lately. Only sleep will tell.

Until next time…peace to all.